Overview:

The Crucial Conversations Parents, Teens, and Drug Use Survey, conducted by VitalSmarts, surveyed parents of teens during the month of October 2006 to gauge the nature of the conversations parents are having with their teens, in general and as they relate to drug use.

The survey illustrates that most parents admit to having difficulties talking to their teen about everyday issues like schoolwork, friends, and clothing. When it comes to drugs, parents also express difficulties in having conversations, even though approximately half of parents know that their children may be exposed to drug use through friends or at parties. Despite those beliefs, most parents are not taking concrete steps—including discussing the dangers of drug use—to prevent their teens from using drugs.

Key Findings:

TYPICAL PARENTING CONCERNS
When it comes to discussing typical parenting concerns (who their friends are, how they dress, how school is going, what they worry about) with their teenagers:

• One-third of parents (31%) address these issues every day, and 47 percent do so once a week, for a total of 78 percent at least once a week.
• The majority of parents (57%) express some degree of difficulty in getting their teen involved in a meaningful conversation on these topics.
  • Extremely difficult (5%)
  • Very difficult (15%)
  • Somewhat difficult (37%)
• The majority of parents (74%) have difficulty getting their teenager to respond to their concerns, and many are not sure whether their teen is even listening:
  • Seems to listen but gets angry and defensive (25%)
  • Listens but seems to say what I want to hear (23%)
  • Seems to listen but doesn't understand and agree (13%)
  • Seems to listen but doesn't participate (9%)
  • Won't listen and changes the subject (3%)
  • Won't listen and leaves the conversation (3%)
• Only a quarter of parents (26%) say their teen listens to their concerns, and they get into a deeper discussion, with a full exchange of views.

DRUG USE BELIEFS
Parents are about evenly split in believing that their teens are exposed to drugs through their friends.

• More than half (56%) of parents say it's very (31%) or somewhat (25%) likely that their teen has been at a party where one or more people were using drugs.
• Nearly half (48%) of parents say it's very (24%) or somewhat (24%) likely that their teen has friends who use drugs.

TALKING ABOUT DRUGS
The majority of parents (52%) admit to having some degree of difficulty when it comes to talking about drugs with their teen in a way that allows them to maintain a loving, trusting relationship with their child.

• Extremely difficult (8%)
• Very difficult (12%)
• Somewhat difficult (32%)

Parents think they are talking to their teens almost as often as they should, but their beliefs about frequency vary.

• Almost a third (30%) of parents think they need to talk to their teenager about drugs at least once a week, and a quarter of parents (25%) say they do.
• Forty percent of parents think they need to talk to their teen at least once a month to prevent them from using drugs, and 42 percent say they do at least once a month.

AVOIDING THE CONVERSATION
When they wondered whether their teenager might be exposed to drugs and didn't speak up about it …

• The most common answer parents give (26%) is that they were confident that their teenager will not be influenced by drugs.
• The next most popular reasons for not speaking up are:
  • Parents had already discussed drugs with their teen in the past (20%).
  • Parents knew their teen would deny any problems, and they didn't have information to prove their suspicions (17%).
  • Parents worried that it would communicate a lack of trust in their teen (13%).
  • Parents didn't know what to say (9%).
  • Parents believed a conversation would make their teen angry (9%).

DECIDING TO SPEAK UP
When they wondered whether their teenager might be exposed to drugs and spoke up about it …

• The majority of parents (57%) say that they shared their concerns and worked through any reluctance, anger, or denial, and that they discussed concerns in a respectful way.
• Yet about 40 percent of parents say they encountered difficulties in having that conversation.
  • They couldn't get past their teen's denial (15%).
  • Their teen got offended, angry, or defensive (9%).
  • Their teen wasn't interested and didn't want to discuss the issue (9%).
  • The discussion went down hill and everyone got angry (6%).

LEVEL OF MONITORING
When asked what actions parents take—in addition to talking—to help prevent drug use, the most common response parents give (52%) is to keep an open house and well-stocked refrigerator to make it attractive for teenagers to stay in the house where they can be supervised by a parent.

Other common answers are as follows:

• Talking to the parents of their teens' friends (37%).
• Monitoring their teens' Internet activity, online profiles, cell phone usage (35%).
• Searching their teens' room, backpack, belongings (29%).

The less popular monitoring techniques included the following:

• Forbidding their teens from seeing certain friends (12%).
• Having their teens take a drug test (5%).
• Cross-examining, demanding answers, accusing their teens (3%).

METHODOLOGY